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re-posted from Myspace... "Dude, i know i'm never around!" - Catching my Drifts... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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re-posted from Myspace... "Dude, i know i'm never around!" [Sep. 8th, 2006|02:50 pm]
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |ani defranco]

i wanted to say a few things... and please dont think i'm brushing people off. It will be a ramble of crap in my head i want to get out... but if you're patient with me enought to be my friend already then this shouldn't be such a shock:
I just dont post often at all. I rarely feel in the mood to post, and if i do, i'm usually on the run somewhere away from my computer... and by the time i come back to it, i'm not in the mood anymore. I don't feel like i'm being selfish really... i mean, if i have a great moment, i share it with those i see in person... i dont feel like i have to share it with the world. I am not insulting those who do feel like posting that way, just frustrated that i feel like other's are hinting that i'm neglecting them all online. Or even in person! I have a phone, but i dont use it much to call friends... mostly because i'm just content to say hi at random. And if you do the math with the word 'random' that could mean an infinately variant amount of time can pass between one call and the next. ok... so i'm a sucky friend... and i've spent much of my social time with a new girl who has kind of nuzzled her way into my life. But this is me. like me or not. Please like me, but don't expect a lot of attention. I've become pretty used to being self-sufficient and self-entertaining. Just look at my livejournal: i post 6 times a year on average; most are about extreme events and landmarks (which dont happen often), and that's about how often i think to call people.
I have about 20 or so really close friends that all live far from here which i say hi to about once a year or see in person about the same. Then i came across a few friends in the neighborhood whom are very social and i Could see every week and always want me around. I'm just not used to that much attention.
Am I anti-social? hells-no. I just enjoy wandering the nooks and crannies of this world by myself. when i come across a social situation and i'm in the mood, i join in. When 'social' finds me, i've been trying to be more open to joining... but it's not really me. I'm a drifter; a nomad; a driver; a geek; and a fan of the outside world. I enjoy the world as it is, i dont need to be with other people to soak up all the greatness of it. I know there's great things i can also see if i have other people around to bounce opinions off of, or to get a different perspective from... but i'm selfish and i want my view untouched for a while first. I'm slow to figure things out or understand, so i want time (often at large, and often on my own) to absorb the world.
love me or not. please don't shun me... just know that teasing that i'm 'never around' is slightly anoying... though i do know it means you care and want me around.
maybe if apple comes out with a big PDA with wi-max... i will be more connected to you guys. but untill then... i will stay away from f'n computers as much as possible. Because, as some of you know, i work with them 'cause it's easy, not because i really love computers. I love what they Could be, not what they are.
Ok, so i think this is too long already, but i have to say one more thing:
I love you all (that's why i accept friend requests, dammit) and i'm TOO LAZY to post comments on ALL your sites! So if you're reading this, consider yourself having got a comment. Mua! ::Smooch::Hug::Tail-wag::
See y'all whenever!

From: missrayder
2006-09-08 11:27 pm (UTC)
It's cool ... I get you!
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